What grade are you in?

As I write this, Grant is 13. I had to think long and hard about what grade he is in. Grades stopping meaning much. Well, from the beginning.

I found out years ago that you don't have to send your child to Kindergarten and it was pretty confusing ever since. Kidding.Sort of.

In all fairness, he lived out of state in a behavioral/hospital type place for nearly 2 years. There are no school pictures nor much art or anything else of a typical child to show that he was supposed to be "school".

Then he comes back to MN for one month of 5th grade which shouldn't matter, but the district decides for us that it does. (I won't get into it now) and this literally the only reason I know that last year (19-20) was 6th grade and now it's 7th.

I think.

I mean, did any child really get their full school year (last year)? Will they this year? I mean. I don't know and back in March I hardly thought any of it mattered. I just knew like everything else for the last 8 something years. Safety first.

So..7th grade. Well, he's 13. I am confident about his age. And...

Our family choose distance learning. Not an easy decision, but easier than most people from what I can assess. We were already on this path. Unemployment, no staff, no school since March...no difference other than it's already gotten cold outside. Grant continues to go to the hospital nearly weekly which means every. single. time he gets a treatment he also has to get a COVID test. So while we have backed down his ECT appts a bit, he makes it up with appts for COVID tests. Which he hates because Fairview is doing the horrible cram a thing down your nose/throat. Park Nicollet is much kinder (PN will no longer see us for a pre-op COVID test unless we are getting a PN procedure).

I continue to feel relief that I am not a teacher. No interest in having 400+ children who can't wear masks without fidgeting, wash hands well or even sneeze in their elbows. No thank you. I salute those of you trudging forward for whatever reason you need or want to as educators. Had I not stepped down before 2020 I can guarantee you this would have pushed me out of teaching.

There were years I felt perpetually ill between allergies, 5th Disease, every cold and virus that entered the doors. I became a much better hand washer once I became a teacher. It was no joke. They were breathing. I was breathing. I was constantly feeling under the weather because we were in a room sharing supplies and breathing on each other. It's that simple. It's not always about the door knob.

So, no. No pandemic teaching for me. In the month of March I froze. Did I want to enter people's homes? Did I want to meet new clients? I was lost for a solid 2 weeks. Which is nothing, but looking back. I was very lost on how we were supposed to work if there was a horrible disease lurking around.

These feelings transfer to my child. I am not judging those of you that have chosen to send kids in. Whether you need a break, think it's best for the child, don't have a choice, or don't think COVID is all that big of a deal. I admire you for your willingness. I just can't.

And I asked Scott to continue to be his primary (and most of the time) only playmate, teacher, parent, etc. I tuck my head down and continue to build a business for our family.

Yes, 2020 can suck it, but if you know me/us...you know we have had harder days/weeks/months than this. I didn't suspect we would be done with COVID by fall and we aren't. I am afraid this is a really bad experiment and that sending thousands of people back to work and school is a mistake. However I am not in charge of anyone but my family of 3 and couldn't be happier that I am not the one making these hard decisions for communities of people that will resent you no matter what is decided.

Anyway...

We would love to send Grant back to school, but a port in his chest, a g-tube and simply being a child that gets touched ALL day long by other adults. It's just too much. So distance learning...we will have to continue to do so as long as we can financially afford this path.