Self-Injury: Always Evolving (1st grade)

Some health insurances cover ABA therapy. Scott and I had Grant on 3 health insurances at one point so he could get the intensive early education therapy we read about many times.

He turned 7 and and he already missed Kindergarten. We were concerned insurance would no longer cover him and it was time to try public school. I am a teacher, so I knew where he fit in our education world. He was going to need 1-1 para help. The thought of him being in a mainstream classroom didn't seem possible. Not that I was being negative. It was frankly terrifying. The safety issues, potty issues, communication. This was all softened by an amazing teacher/ case manager that assured me that she had seen all of this before and would tell me if this no longer worked.

Somewhere between 6-7 years, the SIBS waxed and waned. When he initially was observed by our home district, they said he was going to a level 4 program. I understood why. His SIBS had disappeared that winter, but by the time they finally observed him it was a few months later (spring) and they had come back strong.

Like I said, I had never had a student like Grant in the last 10 years of teaching. I didn't see how he would learn anything in a traditional elementary school like mine. But, this teacher (the one I mentioned above). She said she could try teaching him in her level 3 program. This was exciting. Instead of putting him in a program exactly like he was already in, he now had a chance to spend a small amount of time with neurotypical children. Up this point he was always around adults and other children with autism.

He had a pretty great year in our eyes. Grant did things I never imagined doing with him. Rollerblading, ice skating, field trips to places we weren't sure he would like or do well at...she kept pushing him out of his comfort zone. This felt right. It softened the SIBS he was still having. I mean, for me, emotionally. I just didn't notice them as much because he was doing something new.

It didn't long into his first grade when we started to putting him a life jacket. It sounds so weird to write that, but it's all I could think of to protect his head and shoulders. He had evolved his SIBS into a head-to-shoulder hit that I still can't do, even if I tried. We eventually faded that out and replaced it was travel pillows and beach towels. It wasn't very normal looking, but it was softening the blows. It gave his body a chance to heal.

This was the year he lost his front tooth. That was a terrifying day, but I know the man in charge of him felt as bad as I did. That day exemplified all of my fears for Grant. He came to my room crying like I have never heard (this is before school). But, I looked him up and down. No blood, no signs...until he opened his mouth. Never found that tooth btw.

I loved first grade because he came to school with me and we ended our day together. In the past, I had to bolt out of my classroom to get to a place about 30 mins away. Now he came to me with a daycare para. At this time he became straight obsessed over snowflakes and watercolors. So as long as I trained people in on how to make 3 or 4 types of snowflakes, which he named...we were good (airplane, star, flower). I could leave him with someone and feel ok. Daycare was an option (sort of). It was fun to be more apart of each other's days. I had worked with his teacher before. We had a relationship and still do today. I am so happy for Grant that he had this time with her and the other kids.

Before he lost his tooth and we did this collaborative art project together.

Everywhere we went, better bring paper, scissors and daubers. Got to make snowflakes! Everyone in our family becomes snowflake makers. Here's Aunt Rachel giving us a break.

Grant would ask for a particular kind or pull pull snowflake directions on YouTube. We learned how to make them from videos. Then he immediately would rip them up. I have very little proof of this year.

We even painted during this time. We were easily able to expand on this interest by adding other art supplies. He didn't always like this, but we could do more than just have him watch us cut paper. PS - If you didn't do it right, they were ripped up so fast, it was shocking :)

This snowflake obsession eventually made me crazy. I told him one day "I can't do this anymore. I can't make another damn snowflake." And he must've took it all in because we have hardly made one since. Sadly, we haven't really replaced this activity with much. He won't do art with me anymore which is so crazy. There was a time where this is ALL we did. I have a closet full of kid art supplies. I was ready to do more. He, on the other hand, was done.

The "year of art" ended and frankly so did everything. The Ipad and running back and forth is all we do today.

- I will continue this story tomorrow. I know I am long winded and am writing a novel. This is by design. It's for both you and me. Thanks for reading. If you are still here :) -